A little cruise humor...

Here are a few humorous questions from passengers to onboard staff collected by Cruise Directors over the years (the answers are probably the ones in their heads and not on their lips).  But the questions are real:

Q: Does the crew sleep on board?
A: Of course not, late at night a water taxi picks them up and takes them home!

Q: Do these stairs go up OR down?
A: Yes!

Q: Does the ship make its own electricity?
A: No, don’t you see the long extension cord trailing behind the ship?

Q: Which is the sunny side of the ship?
A: The captain spins the ship around daily so everyone gets an even tan

Q: Which elevator takes me to the front of the ship?
A: Ask the elevator operator when you get on, he will take you anywhere you want to go.

Q: What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?
A: We re-freeze the water and use it for frozen drinks.

Q: What time is the midnight buffet?
A: Usually around 11 PM or so. We tried doing it right after breakfast but most people weren’t real hungry.

Q: How do we know which pictures are ours?
A: The people who look totally clueless . . . . those are probably yours.

Q: Is this island totally surrounded by water?
A: No, part of it is surrounded by sand, but it’s all clearly marked

Q: Do I have to eat every meal in the dining room or can I skip a meal now and then?
A: Only if we remember to remove your shackles from the table.

Q: Can I get pregnant on a cruise ship?
A: Only if you’ve read the book…

Q: I know all about the cruise line's gratuity policies. What I'm asking about is how much to tip.
A: Depends on how gratuitous you’re feeling.


And a couple of funny cruise-related stories. 

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."
"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a parking lot!"

 

Here's the thing.  Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you
didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  When you're ready, contact us and let us help you plan your next vacation!  Then, give us your funny stories that we can share on this blog! 
Thanks for reading!